I attended a Polyamory discussion group last night. One of the topics that came up was weathering hard times with a partner… sticking with a relationship through months and years where the relationship is not good or even actively unhealthy.
Uniqueness
Many Relationship Anarchy (RA) advocates latch onto the idea that we should accept when a relationship is not working and move on. Each relationship is unique. If this relationship isn’t working, we should deescalate it to where it does work again and move on from there.
You can add to this the RA manifesto‘s point about not being pulled, by fear, into sticking with societal relationship norms. Undeniably, one of the most revered relationship norms is longevity.
Designing Commitments
On the other hand, RA recognizes that commitments are good and have value. It emphasizes not just adopting a societal norm for your commitments but starting them from a clean slate in each relationship.
There is no reason, RA-wise, that you can’t decide in a particular relationship to have a commitment that spans through any length of hard-times/bad-times.
Resolutions?
On Facebook, I explicitly asked for comments and experiences. Here, you’re welcome to reply with those or welcome to just take this as an opportunity for focused introspection.
How have you squared this circle? For what reasons, other than societal pressure and fear and “for the kids”, have you decided to stick to relationships that were going badly?